i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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