I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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