So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
