He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
