Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
