saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
