Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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