Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I looked at my own cervix.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
