Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
