He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
