My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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