what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
