You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
