Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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