I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
