How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
