Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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