I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
