Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
