We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
