you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
