areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
