Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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