So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
