Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
