The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
