Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
