so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
