I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize