Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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