Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
