So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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