I got chris browned last night
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
