I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
