so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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