This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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