I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
