the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
