i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
