Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You made out with two different species that night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
