Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
