You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
