ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
