my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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