A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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