I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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