I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
