It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
