HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
