ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
