Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
