a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
